Along with croquet, the rope climb, art and poetry, speedboat racing, hot air ballooning, the horse long jump, pigeon shooting, dueling pistols, and something called korfball, all of which were real, great, and somehow now discontinued sports of Olympics past, there's one event people have been fighting to get back in for nearly a century: tug of war. If only there was a term to describe the battle between the pro and con sides . The tug had been added to the schedule four years earlier at the 1900 Paris Games, with only two teams competing. The burly Americans were too busy sweeping the hammer throw to be bothered, but, needing to prove something to our fathers and/or former lovers on our own soil, America fielded four of the six teams that competed in the 1904 event from local athletic clubs in Milwaukee, St. Louis, and New York. After Greece and South Africa were easily defeated in the preliminary rounds, all four American teams made the semifinals, with Milwaukee eventually beating New York in the gold medal match. Then, in an impressive show of early New York spite, the brooding hipsters refused to show up for either the silver or bronze medal matches, allowing the St. Louis teams to win medals the only way they knew how: by default. If we're going to bring back the tug of war, there's really only one way: After all the events are decided, the top eight teams in the medal count compete in a final ToW tournament to decide the world's greatest country, and only gold medal winners from those Olympics are allowed to be on the team. The winners get a nuclear weapon. The losers? A head start. Keith Tsuji/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images Although if Japan succeeds in , we're fucked. 2. Felix Carvajal Runs Marathon in Dress Shoes, Gets Food Poisoning, Almost Wins Wiki Commons If any sexy Hollywood types are searching for an inspirational underdog story to rewrite for their own amusement, look no further than Cuban marathoner Felix Carvajal, the penniless Havana postman who was pretty sure that being the fastest kid on his block meant he should travel to America and run in the Olympics. And he was kind of right. Since the newly independent nation of Cuba wasn't willing to sponsor the unknown, Carvajal raised his own funds for the games by begging people on the streets and putting on "grand athletic demonstrations" that amounted to running in circles around Havana's town square because, holy shit, life before TV was terrible and meaningless. "If I had to pretend to enjoy bridge for one more night, I was going to go on a murder spree." The 5 foot 1 inch, 95 pound amateur eventually ran around Cuba enough to get in Olympic shape and pay for his fare on a steamship to New Orleans, where he proceeded to lose his life savings gambling at dice. Despite not having cash for room or board, Carvajal just said fuck it and ran or hitchhiked the rest of the way to St. Louis. Having not really slept or eaten in 40 hours, Carvajal arrived at the starting line exhausted only minutes before the race, ready to compete in heavy wool trousers, dress shoes, a puffy pirate shirt, and a beret. The start was delayed a few minutes so a friendly American could cut Carvajal's only pants into wool running knickers, which are . slightly better than wool pants? I've never run in either. "You could power these entire games by the static charge in my loins right now." It would be reasonable to assume that this exhausted, unprepared gambling maniac lost the race handily. But that's just because you don't know Carvajal. Carvajal not only kept pace with the leaders, but did so well that the scamp had time to practice his English with spectators. While running backward. He also stole peaches from a bystander for no reason and left the course to pick some apples because did you forget what you were supposed to be doing, you maniac? The apples, unfortunately, were bad and gave Carvajal a stomachache, so he did what anyone would do if they had to run a marathon: He went to the side of the road and took a nap. "Shit, but I already had this shirt made up and everything." Carvajal returned to Cuba a national hero for his persistence, and then humbly returned to his mail route, never to run competitively ever again. He died poor and alone because, you know, Cuba. Actually, that's probably the part Hollywood should rewrite. Oh! Let's make him a handsome American who wins against all odds! 1. Handsome American Marathoner Thomas Hicks Wins Gold Against All OddsOh yeah . Thomas Hicks became the first American to win the Olympic marathon, doing so against such odds as barely avoiding sure death on the race path after being poisoned by his own coaches, presumably for his benefit. But first let's talk about original winner Fred Lorz, who glided to the finish amid rampant cheers and was crowned with a wreath by President Roosevelt's daughter Alice before Lorz quickly admitted it was all a joke. He had led for 9 miles before dropping out due to cramps, rode half the distance by car, and then, re energized, jogged the rest of the way to the stadium. He just couldn't resist the unwarranted adulation of strangers. Yeah, because embarrassing this guy's daughter was totally a smart life choice. The crowd was less enthused when Hicks entered the stadium about 15 minutes later. Hicks had wanted to quit after 15 miles, but his handlers had other plans, so they fed him small doses of strychnine sulfate (basically rat poison), raw eggs, and brandy chasers for the last 10 miles just to keep him upright and effectively carried him across the finish. Or, in short, USA! USA! USA! Onlookers said Hicks was babbling nonsense the last 2 miles and could hardly keep his head up during his "graceless shuffle" to victory. He passed out before Alice could offer him her wreath and was only kept alive thanks to a team of doctors on the scene. But what would have been a sure DQ today was allowed to stand because Hicks was American, the second place finisher was French, and who really gives a shit anyway. There's no telling how history would have been different if Carvajal hadn't eaten those apples, though. Or if Hicks' coaches had allowed him to quit at the 15 mile mark like he had begged. Or if Len Taunyane, the ninth place finisher and first black African to compete in the games, hadn't been chased more than a mile off course by a wild dog. Matthew Kitchen used to write about the Olympics for NBC Sports, but then . something happened. He hasn't said what it was, but now he's writing for us. You do the math. Follow him on Twitter here for tons of links back to this same article you just read. Air Jordan 6 Rings Black Dark Charcoal ,Air Jordan 6 Rings Venom Green Air Jordan 11 Low White Black True Red Air Jordan 11 Ultimate Gift of Flight Air Jordan 11 Ultimate Gift of Flight Air Jordan 11 Low White Black True Red Air Jordan Winterized 6 Rings Cool Grey Chlorine Blue Air Jordan 11 Low White Black Red Air Jordan 5Lab3 Silver Air Jordan 11 Low White Black True Red America is a country of inventors and problem solvers. For every problem in America, there has been at least one solution offered by an innovative thinker. When states started banning smoking in restaurants, more and more people were forced to stand outside, sometimes in rainy or snowy conditions to smoke. Workplaces followed the trend and required workers to take their smoke breaks in designated smoking areas. When states started passing laws that made it against the law to smoke inside of public bars, American minds worked together to solve the problem the solution, a disposable electronic cigarette. The electronic cigarette, more widely known as the e cig, is a rechargeable and disposable nicotine dispensing device that is able to do the duties of an actual cigarette without releasing smoke into the air. For smokers who are worried about how they will look using disposable e cigs there is nothing to worry about. Not only are the disposable e cigs made to provide those attempting to quit smoking with the fix of nicotine they need, but they are made to look identical to cigarettes. 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Whenever your electronic disposable cigarette is out of nicotine, just remove the reusable battery, toss the cigarette, and begin using another electronic cigarette. With states enforcing larger taxes on cigarettes, it has never been a better time to find a safer and less inexpensive way to subdue nicotine cravings. Disposable electronic cigarettes have not been approved through the Food and Drug Administration but are pending testing from the FDA. As mentioned earlier, the electronic alterative to regular cigarettes do not contain the harmful chemicals linked to cancer and other illnesses that are present in cigarettes. Disposable electronic cigarettes are a safer and more environmentally friendly way to soothe nicotine cravings without causing harm to your body or harming those around you with second hand smoke. With many states banning smoking in their public places, disposable electronic cigarettes are a way to legally smoke in public places. 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New Cheap Air Jordan 6 Rings Black Dark Charcoal,Air Jordan Winterized 6 Rings Cool Grey Chlorine Blue Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, has not been her conservative self this past week she has been someone just as gorgeous, just as stylish, and a great deal sexier. Duchess Catherine, whose clothing always gets attention, has wowed the royal watchers with a couple of long, elegant gowns way out of her usual comfort zone, reports People magazine. And these designer gowns will not sell off the shelves, because they will not be on the shelves both were created just for her. the British call a custom design. dinner at a posh hotel, Kate Middleton chose a white, full length Roland Mouret dress, with a sexy slit halfway up her thigh. The real attention getter came when watchers noted that Duchess Catherine was not wearing hose. Duchess Catherine always wears hose with a dress. And to finish off the look, she had red polish on her toenails, peeking out from under the hem. Nude fingernails, but sexy toes, to go with a pair of Jimmy Choo glittery stiletto sandals. Will the real Kate Middleton please stand up? Friday marked the beginning of the Olympic team ceremonies and fundraisers, and Duchess Catherine guaranteed a successful Royal Albert Hall event in her Jenny Packham lace evening gown. The teal color drew attention, and the lace cap sleeves and insets in a boldly plunging neckline were lovely, but the back of the dress really stunned. It was all sheer lace, to the waist. And instead of covering up the see through details, as Kate Middleton has sometimes done in the past, she wore her hair in an elaborate braided updo, to insure that the lacy back was noticed. The same sexy shoes complemented the look. What will Her Majesty the Queen think? She has suggested the duchess wear more dresses, but she has also commented on the shortness of her skirts. Now Kate Middleton comes out in sexy detail gowns, with shoes unlike any the Queen has ever worn. It is 2012, after all. Air Jordan 6 Rings Black Dark Charcoal The only way to take control of your life, raise your standard of living and move beyond merely surviving is to create your own unique product or service that you offer to increasing numbers of people in exchange for the things of value that you desire. This simple formula applies to countries as well as people. A self sufficient economy has its own products or services of value to export to the world. Similarly, a self sufficient individual has something of value to exchange in the global marketplace. That thing of value is based on your natural talent, skill, or interest in other words, your passion! (The following article was originally written for the people of the Marianas on the Pacific island of Saipan.) The reason many people fail in business or fail to achieve their goals in life is because they don't have a plan. That is because they don't know how to create one, they don't know that a methodology exists for creating plans, and they may also believe that they don't have the expertise to create one. So, in an effort to share what I know so that others may grow, I'm going to share with you something I picked up in my seeker travels that few people know about, and even fewer actually implement. It's a way of making a sound plan for any area of your life that's practically guaranteed to help you achieve what you desire. It's based on some basic laws of the universe, but you can credit L. Ron Hubbard for doing his part in codifying them for easy dissemination. This formula can be applied by every person and to just about every area of life. It applies if you are starting a business, growing a business or selling a business; It applies if you are starting a new job, moving up the ladder, or quitting your job; It applies if you are starting a new relationship, growing the affair, or ending it; It applies if you are starting a club, organization, even a new life, expanding it, or moving on; So everyone from governors to business owners to contract workers can apply this formula to everything from family life to financial affairs. This formula is part of a larger set called The Condition Formulas. Your success in understanding and applying the formula I'm about to share is based on knowing the assumptions upon which set of Condition Formulas is based. Therefore, it will be necessary to know that: 1. Every aspect of your life is in a certain state or of growth. 2. It's either getting better or getting worse. (There's no such thing as the same. There are things that you did or didn't do that got you in that condition. 4. There are things you should and shouldn't do to get yourself out of that condition. OK. As I said, this will apply to any area of your life. And as you read, you may find yourself thinking about your job, your business, your organization, your family, even your social life. But for the sake of ease, I'm going to refer to anything we wish to apply it to as a mentioned, the secret formula is part of a set of formulas that applies to specific conditions. power). Now, does THIS make sense so far? So let's say, again, that you're venture is a shoe store. The particular condition that your store might be in is obtained by first knowing what your is, and knowing how to track the creation of your product from one day or week to the next (your The exact definition of a product which I share regularly in this column is: Product someone or something that has been brought into existence; the end result of a creation. A product is a finished high quality service or article in the hands of the consumer as an exchange for a valuable. It is not a product at all unless it is exchangeable. In this case, your product is and the statistic you'll want to track is of shoes sold customers who walked into the store, shoes tried on, or anything else. (A by the way, is a number or amount compared to an earlier number or amount of the same thing. It is simply the relative rise or fall of a quantity compared to an earlier moment in time. So as a simple example, if you sold 10 pair of shoes today, 20 pair of shoes tomorrow and 30 pair of shoes the next day, you are in a very different condition than if you sold 30 today, 20 tomorrow and only 10 the next day. (One statistic is rising, and the other is falling). And therefore, the specific formula you apply to move from that condition up to the next level of conditional success is also very different. In today's column, I'll focus on the Non Existence Formula, since that's where most people embarking on a new venture will find themselves. (A full explanation of all the conditions and formulas is available in Turn Your Passion Into Profit). So, first let's define Existence one finds his statistic in such a low range that it shows no real products are being achieved or those that are being worked on are moving so slowly that the activity is nonviable, a condition of Non Existence exists. Additionally, when someone begins a new job or activity, he starts off in the condition of Non Existence because he has not yet produced anything in that capacity which can then be exchanged for income. finally, the NON EXISTENCE FORMULA is 1. FIND A COMMUNICATION LINE. (By communication line is meant the route along which a communication travels from one person to another or any sequences through which a message of any character may go.) 3. DISCOVER WHAT IS NEEDED OR WANTED. 4. DO, PRODUCE AND/OR PRESENT IT. That's it! That's the entire Non Existence Formula. Let me give you a very simple example of how you might apply it. Let's say you're starting a new business selling unique Saipan made arts and crafts here on Saipan as well as online. First, Find the communication lines: Make a comprehensive list of magazines, newspapers, radio shows/programs/hosts, websites, vendors, stores, suppliers, wholesalers as well as customers, clients, sales agents here and overseas, that you would ideally like to know about you, sell to you, buy from you and/or promote you. Make yourself known: Write and send a press release, distribute fliers, place newspaper ads or announcements, fax letters of introduction, ask for referrals, stage publicity stunts, and anything else you can think of to let others know about your new venture. Discover what is needed or wanted: Find out what media editors would need to write a story about you; take surveys to find out what your customers really want to purchase from you; Find out what shippers and wholesalers require in order to work with you on their best terms. Then,
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